Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational New Words Contest

Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational New Words Contest

Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:
1.  Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2.  Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3.  Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4.  Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5.  Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6.  Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7.  Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8.  Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9.  Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dope-ler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:
1.  Coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2.  Flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3.  Abdicate , v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4.  Esplanade , v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5.  Willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6.  Negligent , adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7.  Lymph , v. to walk with a lisp.
8.  Gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9.  Flatulence+, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash , n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

25 thoughts on “Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational New Words Contest

  1. How about this one :)

    Millionhairess:
    A woman who inherits millions and spends it all on her hair

  2. this Washington Post contest may be a phantom,but here are my new words for posterity:

    Luftwaffle: A German breakfast treat for when tour flying out the door!

    Blintzkrieg: Your Jewish grandmother’s insistance you have room for more pancakes

    Temperor: The day help that takes their contribution way too seriously:

    Shockweave: The obviousness of your undetectible toupee!

    Feminence: A female boss- as in,”Yes your Feminence”

  3. Here are a few of my own:

    Utensludge: The crumbs & scum that accumulate in the tray under the spoons, forks & knives

    Epillogical: When the epilog makes no sense

    Proteen: A professional teenager, like the Fonze

    Carnervous: The state in which carnivores find themselves when they worry about whether their vegetarian friends and family members are getting enough protein

    and my attempt at ultimate neologistic irony:
    Neologize: to apologize anew.

    Please visit my blog for my list of old words that I’ve redefined:
    http://www.daisybrain.wordpress.com

  4. How about:

    Palindrone – An evasive, meandering reply to a simple question that is equally confusing when read backwards or forward.

    Ie “Tina Fey won several awards for reciting Palindrones on SNL”

  5. Pingback: Two sea monsters walk into a bar… « Sweet Briar College { Cathy Gutierrez's Blog }

  6. There actually is no “Mensa Invitational,” but The Washington Post does have a wonderfully clever humor contest called The Style Invitational. And two Invitational contests from 1998 are the sources of many — but not all — of the neologisms in the list above. (For example, “decafalon” isn’t a one-letter change from “decathlon,” is it? Or “caterpallor”?)

    Much better to see the real thing — every week at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. The Style Invitational is a weekly humor/wordplay contest with unbelievably clever humor contributed by thousands of readers. It’s published every Saturday in The Post’s Style (features) section, and every Friday afternoon at about 3:30.

    The most recent results (Jan. 23, 2010) were for made-up homonyms or homophones. Among the winners:
    Ho-maid: The role of a traditional wife.
    Hi-deaf TV: Commercials.
    S-cargo: Snail mail.

    This weekend we’ll have humorous poems about people who died last year.

    You can see links to these contests and dozens of earlier ones at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. Or you can become a fan of “Washington Post Style” on Facebook (go to facebook.com/wapostyle ) and you’ll get a link to the Invitational when it’s posted. I hope you become regular readers and maybe even regular entrants.

    Best,
    The Empress of The Style Invitational

  7. I invented a new word yesterday and I used it in a conversation today and everyone understood what I meant…

    “Sidestracted” means when you are both sidetracked and distracted by someone else’s actions.

  8. I would like to enter:

    Peccadildo – A minor lesbian sin.

    From Peccadillo – A small, relatively unimportant, offense or sin.

    Dildo – An object shaped like an erect penis used for sexual stimulation.

  9. Hi – How about when you jump in a swimming pool and your truncks fill up with air “pantaballons”. Mark

  10. The Style Invitational has a new contest every single week! We recently did this particular contest (with words restricted to one part of the alphabet), but I run various neologism contests regularly, along with other humor and wordplay contests as well. Write me at myersp@washpost.com and I’ll put your name on the mailing list — you’ll get just one e-mail each week when the new contest is posted online (Thursday afternoons). You can see the most recent results of the above contest at bit.ly/invite1004 (scroll past that week’s new contest). You can see the past nine months of contests and results at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. — Pat Myers, The Empress of The Style Invitational, The Washington Post

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s